Pagan and Poly – Beyond a Marriage – An Interview Series

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photo: frugivoremag.com

Jimmy and Michelle have known they were poly since their marriage, they have been in a blended family with a child together, and each having a child from a past relationship. Until recently, they have lived with their poly partners together as a family of seven. They have just decided to get a divorce.

How long have you known you are poly?

Michelle (M) : We started talking about it seven years ago when we got married, but we didn’t go into it right away. We decided to open up our marriage around October of 2006, five and a half years ago, when Jimmy was deployed to Iraq.

Jimmy (J) : From the beginning we thought of ourselves as poly. We went to one “swingers party” and looked at each other and said, “This is not for us.”

M :     The reason we did open up our marriage, when Jimmy went to Baghdad, was we believed that we could love other people, and still love each other. Neither one of us believed that love needed to be limited, right off, from the beginning. I wanted Jimmy to have any comfort and solace in Baghdad any way he could get it. If there was someone he found over there,  I told him to please take it. He told me he wanted me to have the same thing, solace and comfort, while he was gone. We knew that being with other people didn’t change how we felt about each other. Love is infinite and not limited by how many people you love.

We have had poly partners in the past  who have been single, had kids, and also who had other relationships. At one time we were in an extended long distance relationship where they also saw each other,  so essentially a quad.

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Open Table UCC offers mental health support to GLBTQA of all faiths

Priscilla’s Place meets every Saturday from 1-2:30 pm at the Living Table United Church of Christ. 4001 38th Ave S, Minneapolis, MN 55406. All faiths and non-faiths welcome.

The GLBTQA (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, and Allied)  community has witnessed its share of devastation from suicides, with the organization Soul Force reporting that queer-identified youth are three times more likely to commit suicide than their peers. While the National Institute for Mental Health  collects no data on the specifics of GLBT and mental health as a population of study, the data published on suicide statistics states, “Homosexuality has also been shown to be correlated with suicide attempts among youth.” The Institute does not mention collection of data for older GLBT adults.

Last year, the Living Table United Church of Christ (formerly known as Spirit of the Lakes UCC) lost one of its own members to suicide. Kimberia Sherva, a peer counselor for the church’s mental health support group, says that in response to this loss, Pastor James Pennington enlisted the aid of the National Alliance on Mental Illness Minnesota (NAMI-MN)  to establish a peer support group at his church. With the help of two volunteer peer counselors, one of them the Pagan-identified Sherva, the group now runs every Saturday from 1-2:30 pm in the church basement.

The group, called “Priscilla’s Place,” has a small core membership, with occasional drop-in attendees. “They talk, we listen, offer support and suggestions, and try and let them know they’re not alone,” says Sherva.

Sherva elaborates on her role in the support group, “As a member of the GLBTQA community myself, and as someone who has a mental illness, I understand where our group members come from. I am going to school to be a therapist one day, and the training I’ve received from NAMI-MN and the ongoing group facilitating I do has been priceless. I am not a therapist for the group. This is a peer run group whose facilitators went through training through NAMI-MN.”

The group supports people of any religious identification. “The Living Table is a welcoming community and it is a non-denominational church. In its services, it often refers to God/Goddess. I have told Reverend [Pennington] that I am more comfortable with the mention of the Goddess and he has put it into his services more. I find that comforting and welcoming. People of all faiths (or even non-faiths) are welcome at the church. [Priscilla’s Place] itself is not based upon any religious credo. The members can range from Christian to Pagan to atheist to agnostic and anything in between. The most important thing is that we are here to support others who are living with a mental illness (or illnesses) and who are GLBTQA,” says Sherva.

Pagan and Poly – A Poly Couple, and Friends – an Interview Series

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I talked with Iacchus and Delta about their long-term polyamorous experience and relationship. They are former members of the Church of  All Worlds, and Iacchus is an ordained Priest in that tradition. Delta is an ordained Priestess of SweetWood Temenos.

How long have you been poly?

Delta (D) :    That is complicated. About 1990, we realized before our marriage, that we were poly. Both of us had considered polyamory before we even had met each other.
Iacchus (I):      I was into the Horned God at that point.
D:     We were both into open relationships, so we did it consciously.

Are you legally married?
D:    We are married.
I :    We celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary on new years eve.

What has your poly experience been like?
D:    I wouldn’t say we have had a large number of relationships. We now have a circle of five, three others besides us two, as active lovers.
I:    We have a ‘condom compact’ with those three as active lovers.
D:    We have had everything from short-term relationships to a few flings once in a while. We have ground rules within our relationship, so we ask each other first. We  make sure we let each other know what is going on all the time.
I:    Early on we spent a lot of time  ‘cocooning’  with each other. We are really into our relationship, and still are. We talk about what we are comfortable with. In most of the cases, when we bring someone in, we have spent a lot of time talking.
D:    We were functionally monogamous for about three years, not that it was a conscious choice, that is just how it was.

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Community Notes; January 9-15

We’re coming up quickly on the programming submission deadline for Paganicon, January 14. If you’d like to present a workshop, ritual, panel, or other programming related activity, please visit http://tcpaganpride.org/paganicon/programming. You’ll find forms for ideas and proposals. Please e-mail programming@tcpaganpride.org with any questions before January 14.

A local Pagan just opened an online store: http://www.artfire.com/ext/shop/studio/KnittingGlass